After much debate about going on dates, and varying differences of opinions amongst my friends I have quietly reflected and put some thought into dating, and why we do it.
As much as I think it is healthy to 'get out there' and good for people to connect, if not to find love then at least to meet new people and shake things up a bit, I am beginning to agree it is a bit of a pointless exercise- in 95% of cases.
I have been on dates where I wanted to leave as soon as I arrived, and I have been on dates where I have been completely blown away by how much fun it was despite how much I dreaded going. I have been on dates where I have made lifelong friends and I have been on dates where I wanted to slap the guy in the face for being such a senseless moron or where I have left within half an hour and kicked myself for being squished into going.
Usually I avoid dates like the plague. Because I am a picky b**ch and when I know- I just know. I usually try and delay the answer, make a joke out of it or just blow it off all together, but sometimes I humor myself and my friends by just going or I go because I feel genuinely awful for saying "no" when the guy is a good guy and I have no reason other than 'lack of romantic interest' to enjoy his company.
I admittedly DREAD doing this, because I hate being responsible for hurting peoples feelings, and I hate the thought that someone could be hopeful for more when I am only giving them a chance, not access to my pants or a commitment to our future.
Truthfully, the best dates I have had were with guys that I had spent SOME amount of time with before committing to going on a first date/hang sesh. You have already met, there is already some kind of buzz and connection and there is definitely something that leaves you interested to know more. Plus there is already enough cameraderie between you to not be majorly awkward and this usually eliminates the dreaded small talk and cuts straight to good chats and good times.
So are these kind of 'dates' the exception?
I think two people attract based on unspoken connections and inexplicable magnetism that draws them together.
Which makes me wonder… excluding the above-mentioned date between two people that have had a bit of an introduction already;
*Should we not be going on 'dates' at all?
*Should we give up all of these attempts at being 'open to meet people' and 'getting out there' and just shut the f**k up and wait for Love?
*Should we simply decline the invitations when we already know, seem rude and inflexible but save the time and hassle?
This, I am unsure of.
Sometimes you meet people, and sparks seem to fly… and that should be investigated, shouldn't it?
But then sometimes you are just drunk and imagining sparks, when really they are just flashes of the streetlamp that you are getting double vision from.
Then I wonder why all the old sayings exist;
"You won't know if you don't go'
"your not going to meet anyone sitting at home"
"Try before you buy" (ha ha)
"Single to Mingle!"
'get yourself out there"
"say YES to every experience"
Bla bla bla…
And I for one, do not want to be missing out on living fully- But, if it is not purposefully then it isn't going to get you any closer to what you want, is it?
I am going to try to be firm and stick with my gut feelings.
From now on, if I already don't like a guy in that way and I already KNOW that I see nothing in it; I won't bother going on a date with them, they can still be my friend and hang out with me as long as they are fully in the understanding that we are just pals. But I am not going to go just to be fair and nice if it is not true to my feelings.
From now on, I will only go on a date if I genuinely feel a curiosity or a strong interest in who the guy is, or if we have such good chemistry that I couldn't possibly say no.
What does everyone else feel about dating?
Are you over it?
Does the whole thing kind of put you off and would you much rather hang out with your friends and just meet guys out and leave it at that?
Or does it genuinely inspire you on your quest for all things romantic?
Do you not care if it's a waste of time, as long as your doing something?
I'm intrigued by the varying levels of thought at how everyone perceives dating and I also feel very Carrie Bradshaw right now and it's starting to freak me out so I will leave these musings at this;
You will never find love, it will find you.
xxx
jazz
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